Pity Party

I woke up in the middle of the night, went into our living room and cried in the dark for a few hours.  I’m mourning Taiwan and I haven’t even left yet.

It’s now June, the month we leave Taiwan.  The move is no longer 6 months away, or 3 months away, or even next month.  The move is next week.  Our days are now numbered in the single digits.

I’m trying to hold it together.

Sitting alone in the dark and lacking sleep, one’s mind can go to crazy places.  What if I refuse to go?  Will the State Department handcuff me or drug me or drag me onto the plane kicking and screaming?  What’s their policy on this kind of thing?  Surely I wouldn’t be the first person to refuse to leave a post.

With the sunrise came the realization that it’s inevitable.  A week from Monday I have to get on a plane.  There’s no getting out of it.  I’m afraid I will have shed a bucket of tears between now and then.  For the sake of those around me, I’ll do my best to shed those tears in privacy of my bedroom or my shower or my living room in the dark.  But I’m sure a few tears will escape in public; so I’ll apologize in advance.

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3 comments

  1. jeana · June 1, 2013

    Change us usually hard. But you are awesome about making the best of any situation you are in. Cry and cry some more if needs be but you know you will carry on.

  2. Holly · June 1, 2013

    Erin, I love all your posts, but my heart goes out to you when I read this one! The only sad thing for me about living around the world is that I feel that I’ve left part of my heart in each place. I’m very happy to hear that you’ve had such a great experience overall. Jordan, watch out!
    On a lighter note, I just saw a YouTube video that reminded me of you and an earlier post about Ben (his prayer about “I’m the boss!”). Look up “convos with my 2 year old episode 2” on YouTube. Maybe you will laugh as hard as me – since we currently HAVE a two year old in the house! episode 1 is funny, too! Holly

  3. Becky · June 1, 2013

    We’re sure gonna miss you guys. I was making a phone call on my cell tonight and saw a couple numbers in my contacts that won’t be any good soon, including yours. Made me tear up. Good luck with the pack out. Let us know if we can do anything. Love you guys.

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