So, the election is over, and my guy didn’t win.  As a result, I was a bit pouty.  But then I remembered this election story from my family’s past and it perked me right back up again.

In 1961, (long before I was born) my very pregnant mother woke up on election day and found that her water had broken.  However, she was not about to let child-birth stop her from doing her duty as an American citizen.  So on the way to the hospital, and with a towel between her legs, she went to the courthouse and voted.  Luckily, my dad was serving as a judge at that same courthouse and knew a couple of people who led my mother to the front of the line, towel and all.  On that day, my mother did her civic duty and then gave birth to my sister Geralyn.  Not sure what happened to the towel.

Geralyn, the election day baby

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ironically, Geralyn was not my mother’s only election day birth.  My oldest sister was also born on election day, 1956.

Stephanie, the other election day baby.

Happy Halloween!

 

Can you guess which one is mine?  A correct guess will win you free deluxe accommodations at my house in Taipei (airfare not included).  And by deluxe I mean that I might wash the sheets.  Maybe.  Well, probably not.

This weekend, Noah (age 12) and I found ourselves walking through a night market, just the two of us.  I just have to quickly say that some of the nastiest food known to mankind as well as the most horrific smells can be found at Chinese night markets.  Nevertheless, I LOVE walking through them.  But I digress.

So, Noah and I were walking through the night market, just the two of us and the conversation went something like this:

Noah:  Mom, if it means that we aren’t going to get any presents, I don’t want to go to Indonesia for Christmas.

Me:  Noah, can you tell me one thing you got for Christmas last year?

Noah:  Nope

Me:  Can you tell me anything that we did when we went to Cambodia for Chinese New Year last year?

Noah:  We played paint ball and went to Angkor Watt. (After thinking about it for a minute.) I think I got a New England Patriots hat for Christmas.

Me:  And you can’t remember anything else you got?

Noah:  Nope.

Me:  And do you know where that New England Patriots hat is?

Noah:  Nope.  But I would give up presents for four birthdays and four Christmases if we could move back to Utah.

Me:  That’s just pathetic!  Here, do you want me to buy you some of these chicken feet to snack on?

Noah:  Uh, no.

Have I ever mentioned that I have four thieving children?  They pretty much rob me blind.  This, despite the fact that I have tried my darndest to terrify them into law-abiding citizens with every prison scare tactic I could invent.

When they were toddlers I would tell them that if they climbed out of their car seats and the police caught them we would all go to jail.  Once or twice I may have even threatened to take them to the nearest police station so an officer could see their illegal car seat habits and throw them in the clinker.

I also told them a couple of times that throwing snowballs was illegal and people went to prison all the time for breaking that law.  “Yes kids, prison is full of snowball throwers!”

When my three older kids took piano lessons back in the U.S., their piano teacher would have them sign a contract at the beginning of the year indicating the number of hours per week they agreed to practice.  I would often remind them that a contract is binding by law and if they didn’t practice the agreed to amount of time, their piano teacher could (and would) have them arrested.

Whatever it takes, right moms!?

So with all my prison talk, you would think that I would have four completely law-abiding children.  Not so!  They are a bunch of dirty, conniving thieves; a den of thieves, in fact.

Proof:  Day-before-yesterday I had a wallet full of money.  However, yesterday, when I was in a taxi, half-way between the embassy and our church, I opened my wallet only to find that I had virtually no money left in my wallet.  STINKING ROTTEN THIEVES!!!

That’s the bad part of this blog post.  Now for the good part.  Despite the fact that I am raising criminals, there is some hope in the goodness of humanity.

When I realized that I had no bills in my wallet, I opened my change purse and counted $42NT.  I looked at the fare-counter-thingy and it was at $80NT.  I stammered and hummed-and-hawed for a few seconds and then said to the driver, in broken Mandarin (while holding up my open wallet), “I’m sorry.  I have four children.”  Since my limited vocabulary prevented me from uttering what I really wanted to say, I hoped that he could infer the “dirty thieving children” part.

To my surprise, he didn’t swear at me or throw me out of the cab.  Instead, he kindly said, “No money.  It’s okay.”  And then he graciously drove me the rest of the way to the church.  The total bill came to $100NT (about $3 U.S.).  I handed him the measly $42NT and he wished me a good day and drove off.

This act of kindness will go down on my list of countless acts of kindness the people of Taiwan have shown me and my family.  But I’m still considering turning my kids over to the authorities.

My youngest child was baptized a few weeks ago.  It was a beautiful day and a beautiful service.  I hope that she will always remember the Sunday afternoon when she was baptized in Taiwan.

 

I know, I know!  Yesterday I blogged about my phone problem.  But today I have an even bigger and more annoying problem:  I have cock roaches in my house.  (Don’t judge until you have walked a mile … in my house … with the cock roaches.)

So I bought some roach bait at my favorite store, aka Costco.  And, like the phone instructions in the previous post, the roach bait instructions were entirely in Chinese, except for these four delightful sentences:

“Hydramethylnon’s powerful delayed-action with excellent secondary transmission effect.*  It is effective in control of roach with single feeding.  Allow infected roach return to harborage and die.  The lethal dose would be transmitted to all roaches in harborage by roach coprophagous and cannibalistic behavior.”

*(Yes, this sentence is completely devoid of a verb, or a predicate for that matter.)

Now I can only speak for myself here, but I’m always very careful to ensure that my roaches have both caprophagous and cannibalistic behavior in any harborage that I provide.  Any other roach expectation would be just wrong.   Furthermore, I prefer the thoughtful hydramethylnon’s delayed-action with secondary transmission effect way of doing business with any sort of larvae; because, let’s face it, that’s just the kind of person I am!

But regardless, I really hope those filthy little suckers are dead by morning!