Two days ago, while making a left hand turn onto a busy boulevard, a scooter basically T-boned my van.  As you can imagine, it was horrible.  When I jumped out of my car, the first thing I saw was a smashed scooter and a young man lying on the road, covered in blood and convulsing.

I felt completely helpless.  Luckily, a number of college students on scooters stopped and I could see that they were calling the Taiwan equivalent of 911.  As the young man came in and out of consciousness, I was unable to ask him if he could hear me, or if he was okay.  All I could do was hold his hand while cars, buses and scooters whizzed past us on the busy street.  Eventually, local police arrived, followed by an ambulance and the foreign affairs police and finally my husband.

After the ambulance left to take the young man to the hospital, and the local police and foreign affairs police wrapped up their investigation at the scene, my husband and I asked the foreign affairs police what we needed to do.  We wanted to be very sensitive to cultural expectations at a time like this, because we understood that they were very different from what would be expected in the U.S.  We were then given a quick lesson in what was expected of us.

The cultural expectations turned out to be a great lesson in compassion for both my husband and me.

First, we followed the foreign affairs police to the hospital.  Once there, we were expected to make sure the injured was stable and express remorse to the family.  When we entered the emergency room, we were immediately introduced to the young man’s parents.  Sobbing through my broken Mandarin, I told the parents that I was very sorry and that I had two sons of my own.  Then, with the foreign affairs police translating, I told the parents how concerned I was for their son.  I told them that, as a mother, all I could think of was my own sons as I held their son’s hand and waited for the ambulance.  Over and over, I expressed my deepest apologies.  I then embraced the mother and sobbed into her ear, “Dui bu qi.”  I’m sorry.

We then waited in the ER for a few hours, until we could see the young man.  It turns out that he is a 19 year-old math major and basketball player at the Chinese Culture University.  As soon as we were able, we went in to see him.  His injuries include a badly broken nose, slight concussion, three broken teeth and a stitched laceration on his forehead.  It is a miracle that these were his only injuries.  I thought he was much worse when we were on the street.

I then expressed to him how sorry I was and that I hoped he had a speedy recovery.  He seemed embarrassed and said that he was okay. (Based on the swelling of his face, he obviously wasn’t, but in typical fashion of a 19 year-old boy , was trying to seem tough.)  The parents then told us that he was stable and that we should go home and get some sleep.  We again expressed our deepest apologies and then left.

We were told that the young man would stay in the hospital for observation for five to seven days.  On the day after the accident, the cultural expectation is that we would bring fruit to the hospital; particularly apples, which represent long life.  Then we were to visit the injured every day until he left the hospital.  Luckily, and again I’ll use the word miraculously, the young man left the hospital the next day.  The family told the U.S. embassy representative who is handling the case that we no longer need to visit them.  They believe that their son will be fine.  I’m relieved that he is doing so well, but I regret not being able to take fruit to him.  I really did want to wish him a “long life” with the representational apples.

When a person is injured in a similar fashion in the U.S., the two parties have basically no contact once the ambulance pulls away.  It is very different here in Taiwan, and as I experienced, much more compassionate.  There is no discussion of who is at fault, who is going to pay or how much insurance the parties have.  The uninjured party shows remorse to both the injured and his family, regardless of who is at fault.  The primary concern is for the welfare of the injured.  After seven days, the police will issue their report and at that point the first discussions of payments and insurance will begin.

It might sound strange, but if I had to go through this horrible experience, I’m glad it occurred in Taiwan and not in the U.S.  I think that America could learn a great lesson in compassion from the Taiwanese.

This is my oldest child Cecily.  She turns 16 next month.  When Cecily was 14 she faced a really big challenge.  Half way through her freshman year, she was uprooted from small-town Utah and dropped into a huge city in a foreign country.  She had no choice in the matter.  Given these circumstances, many teenagers would have curled up in a ball and cried for a month.  At 14, I probably would have been that kid.  But Cecily didn’t do that.  She consciously chose to make the most of what life handed her.  Consequently, she has thrived in this crazy environment.  She has faced her challenges with grace and incredible courage.

Every weekday morning, Cecily gets herself up and out the door at 5:50 (10 minutes before any other alarm clock goes off in our house).  She walks alone to the bus stop, waits for the city bus in the dark and rides it to her friend’s house.  Her friend’s mother then drives the girls to another bus stop where they ride the bus the rest of the way to school together for an early morning religion class which begins at 6:30.  She then goes through her day at an extremely competitive international school.  She does her best to get as much of her homework done during the day because after school she has track.  Some days she gets home at 6:00 p.m.  Many days she babysits or has church activities after track.  Last night she wasn’t home until 9:00.  The night before that, it was 9:30.  Then she finishes her homework before bed.  I often worry that she’s not getting enough sleep.

Earlier this week, Cecily’s early morning religion teacher asked me to email her some of Cecily’s qualities that most people would not know.  This is what I sent her:

I’m missing the time when my babies were babies.  Back when I could hold them and cuddle with them and tickle their little hands and squeeze their chubby little thighs.  Now when I try to cuddle my boys, they karate chop me.  When I try to cuddle my girls, they look at me like I’m a crazy loon.  No, I don’t want to have another baby–I’m way to old for that.  I just wish I could go back, for one day, to the time when my babies were babies.  If that were possible, they would look something like this:

Cecily Emma:

Benjamin Parker:

Noah Daniel:

Elizabeth Grace:

Just one day.  Is that too much to ask?  Sigh.

A is for Asian Architecture

B is for Buddhist Temples.

(Mango is the best!)

If you’re over 20, you probably remember the old Polaroid instant cameras.  You would take a picture and the photo would magically emerge from the camera.  At first the photo would be all white, but within a few seconds the image would begin to appear.

I understand that Polaroid stopped making their instant cameras a number of years ago. However, the Polaroid back!  But Polaroid doesn’t make them anymore, at least not the one that our daughter Cecily got for Christmas.  Her camera is made by Fujifilm and the picture that the camera produces is smaller than the old Polaroids that I remember.  These retro cameras are now the hip thing for teenagers.  It was at the top of Cecily’s wish list and apparently Santa has a hard time saying no to Cecily, even if he has to search all over Taipei to fulfill the desires of her heart.  Santa, it turns out, is a big sucker!

So Cecily took her instant camera with her on our trip to Cambodia last week and it turned out to be the hit of the trip.  I think that we all agree that the highlight of our trip was a tour that we took through the village that was right next to our resort.  The resort has done some amazing things for this village, such as providing employment and teaching English to many of the villagers.  Also, the resort dug a number of wells that provide fresh, clean water to the residents of the village.  Half of the proceeds from the cost of the village tour go directly to the village.  We LOVED the village tour.

Cecily brought her camera with her on the tour and took pictures of the kids.  She would then hand the photos to the children.  At first they would look at the plain white photo, wondering what it was.  But then their image would slowly to appear and the looks on their faces were unforgettable!  At one point, a group of kids surrounded Cecily, grinning at her camera and begging, in English,  for “One more!  One more!”

Fujifilm Instax MINI 25 Instant Camera: About $85

Roll of film for Fujifilm Instax MINI 25 Instant Camera: About $20 for 20 pics

Memories of the faces of those Cambodian children: Priceless