Leaving my Comfort Zone

My new life living abroad has caused me to leave my comfort zone in a big way.  When I think of my life back in Utah, it’s like I was wearing a huge, fluffy, fleece blanket.  It was warm and comfy and familiar.  I loved that fleece blanket.  Moving abroad has meant throwing off that blanket and leaving my comfort zone.  That comfort zone included dear friends and family nearby.  It was a neighborhood full of people who thought and acted much like I did.  It included streets and locations that I knew; vistas I had lived with most of my life.

Now, I leave my comfort zone every time I leave my house and drive through Taipei, on streets I’m unfamiliar with and with street signs I can’t read.  I leave my comfort zone when I figure out my way around town on the subway and on buses.  I leave my comfort zone when I walk up to someone on the street and ask for directions with my very limited Chinese.  The whole process of learning a new language means leaving my comfort zone.  In order to learn a language you have to allow yourself to look stupid.  Making mistakes is part of the process and often times that means opening yourself up to blank stares as people try to figure out what you just said and even standing there as people laugh at your mistakes.  Trust me, it can be hard on the ego.

I leave my comfort zone every time I get on the scooter and drive, white knuckled, down the thin, winding back road to Tianmu.  I leave my comfort zone when I go into a grocery store and try to figure out what things are and how I can make them into something that my family will eat.

My new life is full of unfamiliarity.  I’ve had to throw off that warm fleece blanket and stretch out my arms and legs.  I often face a new challenge and tell myself to take a deep breath and be brave.  But in leaving my comfort zone I’m gaining new confidence; confidence in myself and my abilities.

My children are gaining confidence as well.  Last week, my 14-year-old daughter became lost while riding the city bus home.  Terrified and alone (with a dead cellphone) she discovered that she had taken the wrong bus in this huge city where she doesn’t speak the language.  But she figured out how to retrace her steps and take a bus back to where she could catch a bus that would take her up the mountain to our home.  She arrived home late and shaken up, but she did it.  She made it and I’m really proud of her.  She learned an important lesson.  She learned that at times she will find herself lost and alone but her own brain and abilities can get her out of those predicaments.  It’s empowering.

I’ve also been empowered.  The old phrase “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” has become part of my mantra.  I’ve gained a lot recently and I’m grateful for that.  Recently, a friend from high school sent me a great quote from Helen Keller: “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”  Maybe a lot of people wouldn’t consider what my family and I are doing as all that daring, but compared to that warm fleece blanket we were wearing around before, it is pretty daring.

Hiking in the Clouds

Recently we experienced a rare stretch of sunny weather.  A neighbor invited us to take advantage of the sun by going on a hike in the mountains near our home.  We loaded up the mini-van and took off get a tan and enjoy the views.  Unfortunately, there was a cloud covering the peak all day long.

The clouds were a mixed blessing.  The hike was 1.6 km up stair after stair.  It would not be fun to hike in the heat.  The cloud also gave the environment an other worldly feel that blended with the open steam vents we found along the way.

More remarkably, Ellie didn’t complain the whole way.  She had a friend along so she didn’t notice the long and steep trail.

The Same, But Different

So far life in the foreign service is very similar to life back in the U.S..  We do all the same things we used to do.  Only now each task or event is more… complicated.  We’ve done quiet a few things recently that, on the surface, seem routine but doing them is new and challenging.

Take getting the kids to school.  The three youngest kids have to be at the neighborhood bus stop by 7:00 a.m. to catch the bus.  Their bus is a huge tour bus that barely fits down our streets.  Before our family moved in, the school used a small bus just bigger than your standard 15 passenger van.  We forced them to bring in the heavy transport.  Our oldest gets up even earlier to catch the public bus.  She ventures out while it’s still dark with a neighbor friend to ride public transportation in a city of nearly 8 million people.  She tells me it is perfectly safe and the bus is full of old people heading to the park to do Tai Chi but I still worry.  Luckily she only has to change buses one time on the way to school.

If we drive to school, as parents often do, we have two choices.  Route A takes us on a two lane highway down the front of the mountain.  Then we have to double back through busy city streets to the school grounds.  It takes about 45 minutes during the day.  Or, more often, we take route B.  This route takes half the time but the road goes off the backside of the mountain on a one and half lane road with switchbacks and, my favorite, The Choke Point.  The Choke Point is a stretch of road about 200 meters long that should only fits one car.  It just so happens it’s also the steepest part of the road.  Two cars can pass each other but it’s a very slow and stressful event.  Our brakes will need much more frequent service I can tell already.

Driving in general is an adventure in Taiwan.  By and large the driving here is familiar.  You drive on the right side of the road and follow most of the same rules you are used to.  But picture trying to drive where you can’t read any of the signs.  A lot of the signs do have English translations but it seems like all of the important stuff is left out.

Filling up with gas is an adventure as well.  Here you do not fill up your own gas.  An attendant does it for you.  This requires you to speak to the attendant.  This requires you to speak Chinese.  As soon as the Chinese starts the adventure begins.

Something as basic as eating is more challenging.  I can’t identify half the food I’ve eaten here.  I rarely venture out on my own for lunch at work.  No one one at the restaurants speak enough English to keep me from eating duck entrails, which I hear are quite tasty.  Dumplings are really popular here and they are cheap.  Chinese dumplings are like big boiled ravioli except with more interesting and mysterious filling.  Most of the time the dumplings taste fine but every once in a while you bite into something that makes you question the cook’s intentions.  There are terrorists out there you know.

Even Date Night can be different.  One Friday night we went out with some neighbors.  For dinner we went to the very American restaurant, Chili’s.  I’ve never really been much of Chili’s fan, but the ribs tasted really good after weeks of noodles and dumplings.  After dinner our new friends suggested we get a foot massage rather than see a movie.  I had read about foot massages in Taiwan and learned it is a big part of the local culture.  You can find massage spas all over the city.  Erin was immediately excited but I was more apprehensive since I had read up on the subject.  You see foot massages in Taiwan are viewed as an important part in maintaining good health.  The Taiwanese do not get a massage because “it feels good.”  It’s more like shoving broccoli down your throat; you do it because it’s good for you.  The masseuse/torturer grinds, slaps, squeezes, punches and pushes way, way too hard on all parts of your feet.  Even your delicate little toes are not safe.  We paid for a 40 minute massage and I’ve got to say it was the longest 40 minutes of my life.  My masseuse was this cute little Chinese lady from the mainland who I out-weighed by at least 120 lbs., but she was killing me!  My friend told her several times to go easy on me, but either his Chinese isn’t that good or he told her to squeeze harder and lied to me.  I was wiggling around in my chair like a fish I was in so much pain.  My masseuse just laughed at me and kept telling me to relax.  Relax?  You have got to me kidding me.  I stuck it out because if you are in Rome you do as the Romans, so if you are in Taiwan you pay someone to torture you.

This video can give you a taste:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-x_YS6sfpE&feature=related

The Object of a Point and Laugh

Yes, today I was the object of a classic Point and Laugh. Our children attend the Taipei American School.  TAS is considered one of the most prestigious international schools in the world.  Ironically, over 90% of the 2000 or so students at TAS are Taiwanese.  The Taiwanese, like most Asians, place a heavy emphasis on schooling.  Most Asian kids go to school around 12 hours a day and then go home and study for 3 more hours.  You think I’m exaggerating; I’m not.  As a result, most of the poor American kids are in Resource.  I’ve been told that the only classes that American kids tend to dominate are American History (the Taiwanese don’t really give a crud) and drama (not used the applause and the whole concept of drawing attention to oneself).  Even my straight A child pretty much bombed the placement exams.  You can imagine how well my non-straight A kids did.

I have to take one second and brag about the elementary school playground at TAS.  It has a climbing wall, a butterfly garden, two waterfalls, a really cool spiderweb climbing thingy (Elizabeth’s favorite feature) and a beautiful Buddhist temple next it with singing monks.   I’m told the temple occasionally shoots off fireworks in the middle of the day for no apparent reason.

Back to the Point and Laugh. So today I was at one of the countless new parent orientations that I’ve attended this week.  At one point, the presenter asked the parents of high school students to stand.  Up I went.  Then the presenter asked the parents of middle school students to stand.  Up I went again.  Polite laughter in the background.  Finally, the presenter asked for the parents of elementary students to stand.  Up I went a third time followed by a roaring Point and Laugh. I didn’t volunteer the fact that I have two in elementary.

Afterward, a Taiwanese mother came up and asked if I was Mormon.  Yep.